why do i get angry at the first place?

sometimes when people like me gets hurt, the scar remains although the nail has been taken off, i was happy to share my life, my thoughts, my experience, my jokes with people, but whenever i get hurt so deep inside my heart, i'll never be the same again, there will be less jokes, less talking, less laughing, less expose, less straight-forward, less freedom, less aggressive,  less opinion, more faking, more hiding, more serious, which kind of like very obvious physical change over, whereby i normally will start finding another group of people (escaping), meet new friends to get back my freedom again..back to what has just happened just now, i dont know why i get frustrated so easily, like im gonna smash over the car windscreen, or drive like as if im driving "bumper car", or anyway that i could just release the anger hold inside my body, but why i wanna choose to hurt myself? why in the first place do i put so much anger just because the no-brains talked shit in the car? it makes me look more stupid when i got angry with the statement made by childish people..but i'd acted like an idiot! drove like no-brains, music on so loud as if im deaf, and i never bother about the people inside my car, i never thought of anything would happen if i continues to drive like an idiot, and then suddenly i stop. i off the music, i let myself clam a bit, then i try to have some sentimental songs to help me a bit..and the most effective way of calming myself, is to think of the person i love and care the most, and during that time, i'd really thought of going to visit sj, almost forgotten today was sunday, and the workplace was closed..felt a bit disappointed, coz i really wanted to see sj..now here i am, sitting in front of my lappie, hope to recalled idiot things happened in my life that i wouldn't want any repeats again, think of sj, think of peace, think of laughter, think of the time when sj is just beside..

calm down girl!